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by darkbluebox



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Multi, and how it leads her to establish the bureau, in-universe, maybe with a dash of angst, post stolen centuary, pre-bureau, sort of exploring the director's relations with the starblaster crew, u know me friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-12
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-07-11 15:14:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15974957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkbluebox/pseuds/darkbluebox
Summary: When all hope seems lost, Lucretia seeks comfort in the friends she left behind. With their memories gone and their new lives falling apart, can she still justify all that she has done to protect them?





	1. The Peacemaker

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!!! I'm not dead!!!
> 
> Also I realise some of the timelines in this fic may be janked but like hell I'm gonna let that stop me.

As much as she hated to admit it, Lucretia had overestimated. True, the Voidfish’s unfathomable abilities had brought peace to the world like no previous attempts had done, but tracking down the artefacts was near impossible now that nobody could remember them but her.

 

She had overestimated herself, her abilities. It left a painfully bitter taste in her mouth which was far from easy to wash out. She had believed it would be a matter of months to track the objects down, but time dragged, the crushing loneliness growing heavier with each day that passed. The pamphlet from Wonderland had arrived on a particularly dark day, and for a moment hope had flickered within.

 

But once again she had overestimated herself. Even with the help of a friend, she had fallen short, at such a terrible cost.

 

The worst nights were those when the doubt began to creep through her bones, hissing through her mind like a silent whisper.

 

It was after one of the darkest nights of all where the whispers at their height sounded closer to screams that Lucretia sought help.

 

She had promised herself that she would leave her friends to their own affairs until the world was safe once more, and that was a promise she intended to keep.

 

But a passing glance wouldn’t hurt anyone.

 

Merle was always a home to stability and wisdom, and Lucretia was sure that seeing him, even at a distance, would settle the panicked fluttering of her heart.

 

The Highchurch household, locals informed her with unvoiced distrust, was perched over the rockpools at the southernmost tip of the peninsula upon which the village was founded. On the day she visited she wore a long, hooded cape and meandered across the beach, playing the part of an innocent human traveller exploring the coastline.

 

As she drew closer to the cottage, a young dwarf’s head popped up from amongst the rockpools. He was caked in sand and sludge, and when he grinned there were several gaps between his teeth.

 

She smiled in return. Wondering how best to excuse herself from his line of sight without drawing suspicion, it was a few seconds before she noticed that the child had vanished. A moment later there was a sharp tug at the hem of her cloak.

 

“’Schews’ me,” he mumbled. The fingers that weren’t occupied gripping her cloak were alternating between mouth and nostril. “How’d chu get so big like that?”

 

“I’m not that big.” Lucretia knelt.  See? I’m smaller than most people.”

 

He shook his head. “Are you one ‘a them giants?” He glanced from side to side before leaning in conspiratorially. “A’ won’t tell nobody.”

 

Behind him, the door to the cottage flew open. Lucretia straightened up and took a step back as a voice boomed, “MOOKIE! MAVIS!”

 

The dwarven woman’s eyes scanned the beach, and when they fell upon Lucretia they narrowed with mistrust. “Mavis! Didn’t I tell you to keep an eye on your brother?!”

 

“I am!” A second head popped indignantly into view on the other side of the rockpools, freezing at the sight of Lucretia.

 

“I promise, I didn’t mean to intrude,” Lucretia said.

 

Merle’s wife ignored her as she nudged a pair of worn slippers onto her feet and marched down the worn stone path to Mavis’s nook. She hoisted her daughter up by the elbow, snatching the book that tumbled from her hand. “I thought as much!”

 

“Mom,” Mavis whined as her mother ushered her in the direction of the cottage. “I’ve been on the last chapter for a _week_ , and you never give me time to-!”

 

“You don’t get time, young lady, not when I’ve been left managing a family and a home on my own! Someone has to pick up the slack,” she trailed off when she noticed Lucretia’s gaze. “Enjoying the show?”

 

“No, not at all.” Lucretia paled. “I’m sorry, did you say… I thought this was the Highchurch residence?”

 

Mavis’ eyes dropped to the floor. Her mother spat. “Not anymore. Don’t know many dwarfs that need three months to buy a pack of smokes. And if you ask me nowadays, I don’t know no Merle _fuckin'_ Highchurch.”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“Sure you are. Mookie, get back here!”

 

Mookie removed his thumb from his mouth for long enough to wave goodbye, before bouncing up the rocks after his mother and sister. A moment later, the door slammed shut.

 

Lucretia was left alone with the breeze that sent sand swirling across the beach and ruffled the hem of her cloak.

 

It seemed impossible that her friend could spend a century fighting an enemy of unimaginable strength only to give up on a marriage, a life, his own children without so much as a warning. Lucretia stumbled back up the beach, half-expecting the ground to give out beneath her.

 

This was not the Merle she had known.

 

She knew she had done terrible things to create the world they lived in today. But it was only now that she saw how truly she had pulled the ground out from beneath her own feet.

 

She needed to see the others. She needed to know they were okay.


	2. A Twin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucretia attends one of Taako's shows.

Lucretia arrived in the small town of Frostfire just as the vendors of the dawn market were packing their stalls away. Taako’s life on the road did not make him easy to keep track of, but half-a-dozen posters pinned to public boards in the surrounding villages announced that _Sizzle it Up with Taako_ would be performing in the town square that very night.

 

She hid in the busiest tavern she could find until the light that filtered through the dusty windowpanes faded to black. It was easy to blend in as she followed the crowd from the tavern to the square, where chairs had been lain out and lanterns lit in anticipation. Children laughed, and townspeople chattered around her as they squabbled over the best seats. She slipped into the last row, her cloak doing little to hold back the chilling wind that whistled through the crowd.

 

But when at last one of the organisers climbed up on the rickety podium to address them, the young gnome’s expression was grim.

 

“Ladies and Gentlemen,” she boomed in a magically amplified voice. “It is my regret to inform you that tonight’s performance has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.” A ripple of angry mutters rolled across the crowd. “Furthermore,” the gnome continued, and Lucretia noticed for the first time the nauseous pallor pinching her cheeks. “Anyone with friends or relatives in the town of Glamorsprings is to make themselves known to me immediately. There has been a most… a most _terrible_ accident,” her voice cracked and when she hopped down from the podium she kept her face carefully turned away from the crowd.

 

When Lucretia approached the group that had soon formed around the gnome, snatches of sentences began to reach her. “…at least thirty dead, maybe more…names still being gathered, of course, it’s all so chaotic…no sign of the cook or his roadie…”

 

“Excuse me, please, is Taako-?”

 

“He’s not coming,” snapped a small elf beside her, tears shining in her eyes. “My grandparents were going to that show, and if anything’s happened to them then it’s his fault! If that wizard has any sense he’ll stay gone!” She turned and fled, smacking into Lucretia’s shoulder as she did so.

 

“I don’t understand,” Lucretia whispered. If any of the crowd that remained heard her, they were too grief-stricken to explain.

 

Soon, the tale was spreading from valley to valley and coast to coast. It was an accident of the most horrific and devastating nature, yes, but an accident nonetheless. Surely Taako would come to his senses. He couldn’t possibly blame himself, could he?

 

After a week of searching – because the Glamorsprings militia were good, but she was _great_ – she found Taako’s driver holed up in a shabby inn on the outskirts of Eldermath.

 

Sazed was surrounded by empty pitchers of ale and was about to finish another when she approached him. The bar was deserted save for an elderly bearded human dozing on the bar, presumably the barkeep.

 

When he saw her watching him, he jerked back, tumbling from his stool. “Whaddy’a want?!”

 

She watched as he struggled to right himself. “I wish to see your employer.”

 

He snorted. “What? Got a,” he hiccuped, “Got a customer complaint? Too much salt in the casserole? Too much – hic – too much nightshade in the chicken?”

 

Lucretia kept her voice level even as she spoke through gritted teeth. “I’m not interested in punishing anyone over a tragic accident. I just need his whereabouts.”

 

“Accident. Hah, accident. Sure.” He climbed up onto the bar, leaning over the sleeping man’s head to pour himself another drink. “Because Mister Big-shot Taako is just too good to get anything wrong. No consequences for the big boss-man!” He stopped to chug his drink, and the fumes it emitted were so strong they made Lucretia’s eyes water.

 

She grabbed the drink from his hand and slammed it onto the bar, startling the barkeep awake. “Tell me where he is. I won’t ask again.”

 

Sazed glanced blearily at his drink, before meeting Lucretias gaze. His eyes narrowed. “Who the hell are you, anyway?” He reached for the knife on his belt.

 

Even if he were sober it would be no match. She had a wand at the pulsing artery in his neck before he had time to blink. The barkeep blinked vacantly at the standoff unfolding before his eyes.

 

After several seconds of silence, Sazed cracked. “North. That’s all I know. He was heading north when I…”

 

“Abandoned him?” Lucretia snapped. “He’s going through hell, and you just…” she trailed off as the terrible irony hit her. “…left him.” She let her wand drop to her side, and without another word, she turned and left Sazed to his growing collection of empty glasses.

 

She had to hand it to Taako; he knew how to cover his tracks. It was two weeks before she caught his trail, several days more before she spotted him in the light of day. He wore wide-brimmed hat and plain clothes which didn’t hide the tense hunch of his shoulders any time someone tried to make eye-contact. He kept his distance, gaze directed downward as he pawed the last of his coins from the bottom of his purse in exchange for a sack of grain.

 

He was almost unrecognisable.

 

Unable to watch anymore she turned to leave, slipping away down a deserted alley, but before she could make it far she felt the harsh prod of a wand at her back.

 

“You think I don’t know when someone’s following me, thug? Hands in the air, and no funny biz.”

 

She froze at the familiar voice. She had missed it more than she had realised. Taako wouldn’t recognise her face, even if it wasn’t hidden by the hood of her cloak, but still her every instinct screamed at her to run, to hide. It would be safer for both of them.

 

Lucretia bit her lip. More than anything, she wanted to turn around and hug him on the spot. “Taako. I’m so sorry.”

 

The pressure of the wand at her back lessened as its owner tried to make sense of her words. “Huh?”

 

Just enough time for her to reach her wand. A deafening bang exploded from the tip, blowing them both off their feet, and by the time the smoke cleared she was long gone.

 

Lucretia knew how it felt to be alone. It was a fate she wouldn’t have wished on her worst enemy; no, not even the Hunger itself.

 

Taako was abandoned, hunted, and utterly alone. All by her doing.


	3. The Protector

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven's Roost, that which remains.

The city of Raven’s Roost was utterly decimated. Lucretia could hardly breathe, could hardly see for tears. Where once long stacks protruded from the sea, home to guilds, traders, craftsmen, families, now stood rubble and wreckage. Those buildings which remained stared, dead-eyed, over the perilous cliffs beyond.

 

There was no cemetery nor burial ground for the former citizens of Raven’s Roost; only a memorial carved by hand into one of the standing stones which once marked the city limits:

 

_Our dearly departed fly higher than the ravens;_

_Through fire and fury, they fought for our freedom;_

_Let their earthly remains return to the sea._

At the base of the stone, flowers sprouted in abundance, in every colour imagined and more. Lain amongst them were mementos of the lost: pottery, bracelets, work tools, metalwork, carvings.

 

A small, wooden duck.

 

Lucretia fell to her knees.

 

Time blurred and slipped past her notice as she kneeled on the grassy outcrop that hung over the torrid sea. As the day grew dim around her, she felt a warm hand on her shoulder.

 

“I know, buddy,” said a familiar voice. A pile of daffodils landed haphazardly on the ground beside her amongst the dozens of others left in mourning.

 

She turned her gaze slowly upwards, and when she met Magnus’ warm brown eyes it was like a punch to the gut. There was no trace of recognition in his eyes, which were nonetheless filled with kindness. Just as she remembered them.

 

“You’re alive,” she whispered as the tears slipped past her cheeks.

 

“I was outta town.”

 

“Your family-?”

 

“No. They were here. They’re _still_ here.”

 

“Magnus. I’m so sorry.”

 

He blinked. “Sorry. We’ve met?”

 

She shook her head frantically and dropped her gaze. “I…I heard of your deeds. I heard you lead a revolution here.”

 

Magnus closed his eyes. “And now Raven’s Roost has paid for it.” There was a long pause during which the only sound was that of the waves crashing against the rocks below. “I was trying to make things better. Instead I destroyed everything I ever cared about.”

 

“You did what was right.” Lucretia forced herself to meet his gaze. “I know you did.”

 

Magnus shook his head. “I don’t know anymore.”

 

Slowly, Lucretia climbed to her feet. “You’re a hero, Magnus. You’ll always be a hero.”

 

He didn’t acknowledge the statement, only stared at her with broken eyes. “Who did you lose?”

 

The question startled her, and she had to bite her lip to hold back from the truth. There had always been such warmth and comfort in Magnus’ presence that sometime the truth just slipped out, like he was carrying a natural zone of truth of his very own.

 

“…friends. The closest and dearest friends in all the worlds.” She paused to swallow back a sob. “All the friends I ever had.”

 

“I’m sorry.” Magnus steps towards her, holds out his arms cautiously. “Uh, may I-?”

 

It was all Lucretia could do to stifle a laugh, because in a hundred years Magnus had never once waited long enough to ask permission for a hug. Of course, _that_ Magnus knew that there was never even the slightest chance that Lucretia would say no.

 

She hugged him, and it was another punch to the gut as she was enveloped in the familiar warmth, so achingly comforting that she couldn’t fathom how she had survived for so long without it.

 

She left Magnus to pay his respects in peace. As his figure grew smaller and ever-closer to the horizon, she could see his mouth moving as he conversed with a love long-gone.

 

_You did what was right_ , she thought. _You always did what was right, no matter the cost. So must I._

She turned forward and set off into the unknown. Later, when feeding the neat and meticulous hand-written account of their conversation to the voidfish, she did it without tears nor regret.

 

Magnus had given everything for those he loved, and the consequential pain was not his to bear.

 

She, too, would be strong for those she loved.  


	4. The Lover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone she was looking for, but not what she expected.

It was difficult to visit Lup, for obvious reasons.

 

She had been searching for Lup, as she had the artefacts, tirelessly. Her absence weighed upon Lucretia endlessly, one of the heaviest weights she bore.

 

She searched for Lup in the traces of her presence still scorched into the earth. She stood at the rim of one of the great glass rims burned into a long-dead battlefield and stared down at her reflection. She could still smell something of the disaster in the air, like singed hair, reminding her that this land still belonged to the flame. She had hoped to find something to remind her of Lup in the destructive path of her creation, but no. This was not Lup. This had never been Lup.

 

It was at times like this that she wanted to curl up into a ball and dissolve into nothing. Let the weight of the world – no, the universe, _every_ universe – fall to someone else.

 

She was just so _tired_.

 

If Lup could see her now, what would she say?

 

_Get up, Lucretia. Get up and do something about it!_

Lucretia was climbing to her feet when the sounds of the birds and insects which inhabited the surrounding fields fell silent. She shivered. It had dropped at least three degrees in under a second, and the hairs down the back of her neck were standing on end. She was being watched.

 

“Lup,” Lucretia said. She didn’t know why the word slipped out, but somehow, the strangest hope flickered in her chest.

 

For several seconds there was no sound but the wind whispering through the grass.

 

“ _No._ ”

 

She turned and looked up at the familiar figure hovering before her. It had been a long time since she’d seen one of the old IPRE robes.

Her heart leapt in her chest. “Barry?!” She started forward, but the figure moved back just as quickly. “Barry. I couldn’t find you, I was so worried, especially after the voidfish-!”

 

“ _I know what you did.”_

Barry,” Lucretia gestured to the lake of glass at her back. “Look at what we did to this world. It had to end, we all knew it did.”

 

The red robe lurched forward, driving Lucretia up to the very edge of the glass. “ _I felt it happen, Lucretia. I felt Lup’s face being erased. I felt you pull the woman I love from my own_ _mind.”_

 

 “It’s temporary, Barry, I swear. I’m going to fix this. You could help me. We could do this together.”

 

“ _You’re going to destroy this entire reality.”_ The figure swayed for a moment as bolts of red electricity crackled across its form. “ _Lup. I have to find Lup. I have to-!”_ Another burst of red. “ _-stop you!”_

She shook her head. “I’m right, Barry. I know it.”

 

He raised his arm, fingers spread wide and glowing with energy. “ _Don’t make me do this, Lucretia._ ”

 

Lucretia clenched her fists, fighting the urge to reach for her wand. Instead she held her chin high. “You won’t. I know you won’t, Barry.”

 

His hand clenched into a fist, and for a moment Lucretia saw what Barry had lived through, a terrible wave of white static bearing down, threatening to take everything she had ever loved. Pulling her mind to pieces and leaving her with scraps from which to build a life.

 

She understood. Lup had disappeared on her own, but Lucretia had killed her memory. The only thing they had left of her.

 

She stared down Barry’s pulsating form without fear. “I know, Barry, I know. But I also know I can do this.”

 

For a moment, Barry’s form flickered brighter, like a fuse about to run out. Then, with a hollow rush of air, the light dimmed and faded as the energy flew from his form. The voice that echoed from beneath the hood was as empty as death. “ _I cannot make myself hurt you, not even for the world itself. But I can stop you. Remember, Lucretia. You cannot succeed alone.”_

 

The voice faded, as did the form, leaving Lucretia alone in the dead fields.

 

She exhaled slowly, letting the tension unwind from her body a little at a time.

 

She looked out across the glass one last time. “I’m going to save them, Lup. I promise.”

 

Barry was right. She couldn’t succeed alone. But she no longer intended to.

 

In the dust at the edge of a devastated land, a small symbol was drawn in the earth. To a casual observer, it looked like an assortment of triangles, arranged to create a diamond at their centre. But Lucretia knew better; the letter B, reflected on itself as though held up to glass.

 

She would call it the Bureau of Balance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed it!

**Author's Note:**

> Livin' for those comments babez


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